Last time I wrote was during the second business trip to London, a time where I question what I really want. Two months have passed, since a week ago I officially moved in. Here comes the other problem, finding a flat. Honestly I wouldn’t have thought it could be this hard, especially because the company said I get assistance in every process to ensure the relocation smooth. But I guess, it wouldn’t be a story worth telling when everything goes easy.
I have a blind trust in the agent my company assigned, no clue of the location, but few specific requirements. I need it to be pet friendly, 30 mins commute to the office, modern building, and I need to live alone. The budget started from a few grand, I thought with this I should have something decent. But, the agent knows the trick, right? He starts with an okay flat within the budget, then goes to a flat that I didn’t even want to visit for a lower budget, then goes to something I definitely will like but above my range.
The apartment has more than what I need and wanted. The room is pretty but too big actually for me living alone. It has a nice, cool gym. But I didn’t need that fancy gym to workout. I know I ended up preferring to do home workout or taking a boxing class. And the biggest problem is it is a 50 mins commute from the office. I was almost tricked by all those fancy offers, but luckily I came to sense. I am willing to exchange comfort for beauty, with those high heels. But I know I am not going to sacrifice time for luxury. Time and rest is the most expensive privilege after all.
So the searching continues… Now, I not only have that facility and room standard but also wanted to have a decent distance. I keep increasing my limit while I search for property, because I want that perfect place. Then I realised something, finding a flat is just like everything we desire in life, isn’t it? It will just never be enough…
A friend of mine, whom I have known for more than 6 years and he is that type of friend who will provide you with a fact that hurts and keep you out of blindfoldness.
“Do not increase your standard of living much,” he said.
OMG! That’s it. We have had this talk since the first time we knew each other. We believe in a simple yet comfortable life, and we agree that no matter how much money or what stage of life we are in, we will not increase our standard of living that much, comfortable but definitely not chasing for luxury. I knew him since he started his business, selling his business and creating many other businesses. I believe now he has sooo much money, but I didn’t see any difference in him at all. He uses the same shoes he had 6 years ago.
And who the fuck I am thinking I am? I started life in a very humble beginning, I experienced living in a small room with the whole family. Now, I complain about a 4-5 stars hotel, saying the room is too small. I experienced how bad the cheap train from Jakarta to my hometown was. I tried the train that did not even have a door. Now I am questioning why the company provides economy class only? Well, I didn’t complain if it’s at my personal expense, I will pick the cheapest flight and rent a cheap airbnb, hahaha.
But I am living a life, I can not set an imaginary standard of living as mine. My mom told me since I was kid, I need to be the same with or without money. Not begging if I don’t have any, and not bragging if I have many.
And just like everything in life, I believe we always wanted more. We thought if we have more we will be happier. But I believe it is the opposite. The more you have the unhappier you are. It is like opening countless doors. Once you open one, it leads you to more emptiness. Doesn’t mean I am against chasing something, but we all need to know what is the limit. And what actually will fill the void. What truly matters in life.
And just like finding a flat, rarely life will give all you want. It is just a barter of what you are willing to sacrifice for what you wanted to gain. But I guess with the social media influencers, people these days do not really know what they really want, dragged to what the society thinks is important. And that is honestly the reason, I did not want to be addicted to it.
Being free from what people think, and mastering detachment is honestly the key to freedom.
I couldn’t find the perfect fit within my budget, so I compromised. I found this nice flat fulfilling all I need but… it only accepts a 24 months contract with no break clause. Then I joked, ah this must be what my ex felt, hahaha. Not everyone is ready for extra effort, dedication, and commitment even while they know the worth. Then just like a relationship or flat, we wanted less effort but hoped for better quality in options. Honestly that’s not how any of this will work. There is always a price we need to pay. The exchange of what you are willing to sacrifice to what you want to gain.
And just maybe, when we discipline ourselves to be grateful. Teaching yourself to know the limit and be wise enough to understand what truly matters in life. We will be happier with what we have or even with less. Only when the heart is shaped correctly, will you open the right door that does not lead you to a deeper void.
London, 20 July 2025
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