A reminder for future me

I overheard the conversations of three teens sitting in front of me on cafe. Lil did they know I was inspired to write about them. They are talking about lifestyle, money, and what they wanna do after graduation. I was there a few years ago yet maybe with a different point of view. It may be too early for me to write about parenting topics, I am still a kid myself. But this tickles me, and might be a reminder for the future me. Not sure this is right, times might change the belief, yet I have some uncommon values that I might use to raise my kids.

Sorry dear, no more allowance after twenty two

I still remember this moment, a mother and her daughter came to the office and talked to the boss. She said she wanted to discuss creating apps for her daughter’s fashion business. They came by commuter line, with a humble attitude. Long story short, I knew that she is the wife of one high-ranking official in the Indonesian government, definitely rich and for sure has private driver privilege. Yet she decided to raise her daughter with a humble lifestyle.

She stopped giving her daughter allowance after 17th, felt sorry sometimes because the girl often faced hard times and was not able to enjoy the social lifestyle. Yet she said if she gives all, it will be more wicked. Her daughter will face an expectation gap that causes future suffering. She will be dependent and couldn’t understand the value of money.

I agree. Since young age, I have made a commitment to be financially independent after I graduate from college without any pressure from my parents. Yet, for my kids, I will announce from the beginning that after they graduate from university, there’s no more financial support. Not even for their wedding or business capital. Even if their father is super rich (lol), all inheritance will be given to grandchildren as a guarantee for the cost of education. Even when I could, I give no express card for their career, they need to build it on their own. 

To be fair, I wish nothing in return too from them. Just one request, the same as what my parents told me since I was kids, “I wish nothing from you, just one, if something happens to us, just make sure your younger sibling gets proper education”.

You can be anything, literally anything

For sure I have a dream of what my kids would be. Yet, I will not push them to make it real. They have all the right to be anything they want to be. All I need to do is just give the view from the experience as the one who lives first, and more importantly be able to give the best support for them to reach their dream. 

I have a normal dream, wishing I could send them to Harvard (lol), yet how if they wanna be a dolphin trainer? Do not worry kids, I will support you no matter what. I will find you a dolphin trainer’s best school. And I will be there, standing proudly on your first performance. 

More important than being rich or successful, I want you to be happy and at peace. To find your path and live to love. To be the joy of the world, the blessing for people. When I feel bored or sad, I remember that I need to live my best so I can tell you a nice bedtime story one day. Until the day I see you kiddos!

Jakarta, March 17th 2021