Before You Decide

You can never control who you fall in love with, even when you’re in the saddest, confused time of your life. You don’t fall in love with people because they’re fun. It just happens.

Kirsten Dunst

Yes Ms Dunst, you right. But remember, at least we can decide who we will jump to a relationship with wisely.

This morning a friend asked me for a piece of advice according to her relationship. She feels it doesn’t work well and influence her mental health. But, the problems might come from herself. Afraid of regreting, she doubts herself.

I gave her common advice. Take a piece of paper then write the advantages and disadvantages of the decision. Deeply discuss with yourself, what truly happens. Trust me, your deepest soul always know the answers, but often we ignore it. Busy seeking an answer from others instead it only can find inside ourselves.

Okay, I admit it. I can’t apply that advice to myself. Simply reason: Love! When you love someone you tend to sacrifices and it blinds you. It might take time, but believe me, at the right moment, you’ll able to come up with a decision.

I need to bold this again, even it sucks, no one deserves to blame. Love is great, it releases dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin. Colouring our boring life. Forget all of the mistakes he made, you loved him once, means he has the qualities you looking for. And of course, it’s not our fault either.

This just not mean to be work. I don’t believe in the wrong decision. Every decision will lead you into consequences, that’s all. As long as you are willing to look at the silver lining, there’s no wrong decision. Even the relationship was hurt or you regretting your lost. The only person who can control its affect is yourself. You can let it ruin you or build you.

Love never hurts, expectation does. You can’t control who you fall in love with but you can decide who you want to be in a relationship with. That certain person you choose to be with will influence all aspects of life. So, choose wisely.

Every person might have a different perspective on this particular issue. For me, the purpose of a relationship is to grow together. Give positive influence to each other, be the support system, a home for the tired soul, and a theme park for having fun.

Forget all of the external factors of that certain people, before you decide, ask this simple question: What kind of influence he/she give? Could both of you help each other to grow?

Then you’ll find the answer.

Jakarta, September 13th, 2019